Extra-sensory Nutrition Perception

Don't get me wrong, I am a science kind of woman.

I mean, I hated science in school, it never made any sense to me at all, apart from biology. Physics was as much of a mystery to me as an Edgar Allan Poe tale. (He's a miserable-looking man, isn't he? I think it is the down-turned 'tache). I couldn't settle for the fact that electrons moved from one pole to another, I wanted to know why they did. Who made them? Did they decide on their own? Did they fulfil a pre-ordained destiny, or was it complete chance that they did so, a random universal coincidence of fortune for the humanity that had managed to tap into it? I fully understand why my teachers didn't like me very much.

But now, I love science. It fascinates and intrigues me. I read about it and watch television programmes about it and talk to my family about it. Admittedly, I still can't help Eldest Daughter with her GCSE physics homework, but I'm no sap, and when I hear the arts graduates on radio four mangle their interpretation of the scientific news it drives me crazy.

One of the particular areas of science that I find most interesting is that of nutrition. There are good reasons for this, of course. You know I love to cook; and at one stage in my potted life, I even catered for a living. And then there is the issue of nutrition and illness, and we have an awful lot of THAT in our lives – it's natural that an intelligent, well-read woman would make it her business to know all she can about the effects that minerals, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and roughage will have on a body suffering from the wide range of immune-system related disorders in our family.

Nutrition is one of the very few areas in which we feel some sort of semblance of control over the evil forces of CFS/ME and psoriatic and/or rheumatoid arthritis. It isn't just us – it is the straw that the medical profession is grasping for all around us currently. And who can blame them? They want to help, they feel as helpless as I do, they are looking for their very own bazookas in the headlights of our need.

I try to reassure them that when it comes to feeding my daughter, I really Know What I Am Doing. But saying it, even with capital letters, doesn't help them to understand the depth of my knowledge. I never will be able to make them understand this, because my knowledge is not actually derived from study, or science, or anything remotely understandable to anyone with a medical degree. I have a secret that I am going to share with you, and you, too, are going to think I am mad, and may even worry for the safety of my family.

{Whispers – I have extra sensory nutritional perception. Sssshh.}

Have I lost you?

There are more things on heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, whether you are called Horatio or not. This is something I know to be true, and yet, how can I make anyone believe me, ever? What I can do is this: I can sense the nutrients that my daughter's body needs. This sense is exponentially improved the more time I spend with her, and I need to be physically fairly close to her to be able to sense it. But I don't do it through sight or sound or touch; I look somewhere inside of myself to find what it is that she needs, and when I do this, consciously or unconsciously, I am always right.

I say my daughter, but in fact I can do this for both girls and my man, too. Hell, I can even do it for myself, that's fairly easy. But I most often do it for the youngest, because her nutrition is regularly more urgent than Eldest's or my man's. This is because they eat pretty well, and through a week, usually take in more than they need of most elements. I do have to work to ensure Eldest gets the iron and protein that she needs; and my man is terrible at feeding himself. But youngest will frequently need very specific nutrients at odd times of day, and when I am there, I can read and fulfil her need.

Do you believe me? I ask because I am intrigued by how this will come across. There is such an emotional connection between a mother and the feeding of her children. Anyone who has ever breast fed a baby will understand the depths of this. The first time your baby rejects your breast? Iron to the soul. And moving onto weaning, the emotion involved can be overwhelming. I have seen an otherwise gentle woman physically hold her toddler's mouth open and force food into it, in her frustration at his refusal to take in the nutrients she had lovingly prepared for him. Feeding our children can make us mad, I know it. And the way we feed our children can make them mad, too. Anorexia, bulimia and over-eating are enormously prevalent in young people. Using food as a means to self-harm is a child's most accessible weapon against himself and his parents. (Yes, this is not a female issue, boys use this weapon too).

So, I get that people might think that I am a deluded over-bearing mother with food control issues, especially if they are doctors and see people like that all the time. And I get that even if you know me and know that I am not controlling in this way at all (and I have enough self-awareness to try to avoid the other ways in which I tend to be controlling), you might think that I am deluded, even if I have great excuses for my delusions. There is no way that I can explain myself or prove what I know to be true.

I am a scientist who believes in magic. Or am I a magician who understands science? Either way, I am highly unlikely to be the only mother out there with extra sensory nutritional perception. Will my declaration bring others out into the open? I would LOVE to hear from you if you think you can do this too. Read this, share this, leave a comment - you know you want to.

Would you like a recipe? Hmmm... don't have much time this week. How about a quick and easy cocktail? Chill some lychee juice almost to the point of freezing. Pour half a glass full, add a double tot of gin, and top up with soda. A slice of lemon will tart the sweetness up just enough. Enjoy!